i wish you love..

Once upon a time there lived a young man named Alan. He had everything that we ever imagine, wealth and loving parents. still, there is one thing that made him down, a short period of life. He knew that he doesn’t have long life because of a malady he carried since child.

Alan’s parents became overprotective for his son’s sake. They won’t let him play or even take a walk under the sun. They afraid if they did that his disease will attack once again, and even serious, he would die.

Alan’s always dream to do that. Not a single day left without him wondering how wonderful it might be to go walking and breathing the air breeze outside. He keeps praying to go out even once. Until one day he saw a young girl walked across in front of his house. The wind gently blows her long hair. Her fair skin looks even fairer under the morning sun. For the first time, Alan fell in love.

He gathered his braveness and sneak out from his house to follow her from behind. That was his first day to go outside without observation. No more ‘NO!’, ‘DON’T!’ or ‘STOP!’ heard from his parents. He felt free like a birds. After a couple of blocks passed, he saw the girl entered a CD store. Now he knew that she was working there as a cashier.

Every day, he would sneak out and went to the store without his parents’ consent. Little did they know that their one and only son were enjoying his freedom outside. Alan bought a CD from the store everyday. He doesn’t care what type of CD he took, or who the singer is. All he ever wanted was a smile from the girl that he adored whenever he paid the album. He likes her smile, her voice when she said ‘thank you’, her dimple, her energy..he likes all about her. She lightened up his heart. Yet, he doesn’t have the courage to tell her the truth. Afraid of rejection.

Until one day, his disease strikes again and it even worse than before. He wasn’t able to move and only lay on his bed counting his days left. Her face emerged in his head. He was in deeply regretted, because not only he doesn’t know her name, he wasn’t even saying ‘hi’ or smiles back at her.

One night, in a dying state. He decided to look back at the CDs he bought from the store. With a help from his mother, a heap of CDs taken out from under his bed. His mother was surprised but couldn’t say more. He laughed. How fool he was picked something that never suits his taste. Until one album caught his eyes. A Rachel Yamagata album. He picked it up, open it. Once the case was open a letter fell out. He read and soon found out that it was from Hana, the cashier from the CD store, the one he adored.

Alan was never known that Hana had a crush on him the moment he entered the store. She wrote how she felt towards him. Alan opened all the CDs’ cases and as he thought he discovered lots of letters just like the pink letter he read. He listened to Rachel Yamagata song ‘I wish you love’ and read the letter patiently. How Hana wrote to him as if they were talking to each other. His heart jumped with joy, he wants to run and tell her how he felt. But he couldn’t do much. He wasn’t able to walk. In agony, Alan wrote back as a reply and asks his mother to give it to Hana.

The next day, Alan’s mother gave the letter to Hana, she explained everything and ask for his forgiveness then went back. Hana was shocked. She read as her tears running down her cheek.

Dear Hana,

How are you? I hope you are happy as always, that you never feel upset or down. As for me, I think you already know my time was limited. I don’t have much time left.

I’m sorry for my stupidity, I think you might notice that. If only I picked the song that I like, I would definitely ask you out. I bought the CD just to see you smile at me that has brightened up my day.

I’m sorry for my cowardice. If only I follow my instinct rather than my fear, I would definitely tell you the truth, tell you how I feel the moment I saw you walked across my heart.

I’m sorry for my ignorance. I waste my chances everytime when you said ‘hi!’ whenever I entered the store. When you tried to talked to me whenever I ‘lost’. When you smile at me whenever we face one another. The truth is, my heart was full of joy, my body was shaking and I can’t even breathe.

I’m sorry my time is limited for us to enjoy the moment of truth. My stupidity, cowardice and ignorance had made us suffer. Any weeks, any days or any minutes I might go.

Hana, thank you for filling up my days and heart with your spirit. I felt bless to know you. I will always love you, forever and ever. So long for now, I dedicate Rachel Yamagata-I wish you love. Take it as a replacement from me, a wish for you..I wish you love..

Love, Alan


Hana run with tears, crying her heart out to Alan’s house only to found out Alan were no longer alive. His parents were in a deep of sorrow just like her. He ‘sleeps’, never wakes up. He left with a smile, satisfy that he had an enjoyable days with her memory dissolve in his mind together with him..